Who Wants To Get Insane?! DIG DEEP!

Nothing like seeing that ONE disgusting ass picture of yourself in your WTF-WAS-I-MOTHER-EFFING-INHALING days (or in my case, two or three or four and then some pictures) to really boost your confidence. Did I swallow an entire cow for breakfast that day?! How the hell did I let these slip through my strict “NO DOUBLE CHIN PHOTOS ALLOWED” policy on Facebook? Needless to say… UNTAG!

Luckily that same day I was wallowing in self pity and untagging my fat pictures was the day Sergeant M texted to force, I mean, ask if I would be interested in doing a nine week work out plan called "Insanity" with her and if I thought the other girls would be in. I did a follow up text response containing a mad face (you know, the red one -- the ultimate mad face), a broken heart, a crying-laughing face (hahaha! How dare this fool think I'm going to work out six days a week for nine weeks! Hilarious! The nerve!), a dead face with X's for eyes and the gun pointing to its head (that would be me after the first day of a work out, I mean it's called INSANITY for fucks sake) -- beer bottles, and poop (for good measure) -- you know, all the real cute emojis.

She emailed the girls and discussed a new workout routine that required nothing other than DVD’s, a strict diet and your own self motivation. No weights, resistance bands or other equipment was needed; you used your own weight as a means of gym equipment. She provided the DVD’s and those willing to join were encouraged to group text and picture message exactly what we were eating throughout the day, any time/anything we ate, check-in via FourSquare upon doing the work out, send pictures of your body throughout the course of 9 weeks this program lasts and email results of a fit test to everyone – you know, not so everyone can tease and make you feel guilty for eating a doughnut, two croissants drenched in butter, McDonald’s breakfast (“Let me get a sausage egg  mcmuffin, please, with an OJ, oh! And throw in a hashbrown in there for me! Wait, TWO hashbrowns for a $1?! Make that TWO hashbrowns, I mean who can pass up on a deal like that?!”), down a Starbucks frap and maybe a low-fat yogurt thrown in the mix to make yourself feel better about eating all that for a semi-large breakfast in one sitting, but so we can motivate one another to eat better.

If it wasn’t for Sergeant M and Second-In-Command A, I probably would have wasted a thousand dollars signing up for Lifetime Fitness, jogged for 20 minutes,  do some time with the free weights, looking like some inept asshole. I would have bought a slew of healthy food at Harris Teeter. I would have signed up for a two year subscription for Fitness magazine so I could do whatever “Get flat abs in 2 hours!” exercise and spent a ridiculous amount of money on iPhone apps to track my exercise and count calories. Only to get distracted and inhale a few Big Macs for a midnight snack and give up.

Obviously, I don’t have the discipline to a.) have an eating disorder or b.) get “addicted to the gym” (because I mean, really, who the eff really gets addicted to the gym? I’d rather be addicted to ice cream, Nuetella and croissants) so I just want to say a deep, heartfelt THANK YOU to my INSANITY GIRLS. If it weren’t for you girls, I would still be fat, unmotivated, eating disgustingly, did I mention fat and the owner of three chins. You girls really keep me inspired and motivated. I have NEVER, EVER been able to complete a mile without stopping and walking (I mean, I didn’t have a 14 minute mile in high school or anything…) the remaining 3/4 of it. But thanks to you all and insanity, I was able to run two miles without stopping! We completed a freaking EIGHT K. FIVE FREAKIN’ MILES! In less than an hour! Okay, so I may have skipped a block or two, but whatever, N parked like 18 blocks away from Freedom Plaza and denied my request to cab it, so that counts for something, right? Never would I have ever seen myself doing an 8K. Now Runamuck’s 5K is vastly approaching in two weeks and I’m actually eggcited for it? Who would have ever effin’ thought? Sure as hell not me. I’ve been disgustingly sick for a month and skipped out on working out for two weeks and wasn’t keeping up with Insanity but now I’m getting back into the swing of things and it surprisingly feels good, you know, aside from the soreness that inevitably comes along with Shaun T’s ridiculous work outs. THANKS GIRLS! Can’t wait to cross that finish line with yall on the 30^th! <3 I love yall! (And I still love you skinny bitches that aren’t doing Insanity and eat in front of us while watching us dig deep with Shaun T. And no, I’m not referring to YOU AT ALL, BESTIE!)

Things I'm Currently Obsessed With:

Vietnamese Coffee: Spam gave me like 50+ packets of when I stopped by to see the kids on Saturday (and NOT hang out with Pam, duh). I will need to either go over there more to steal some when I run out or buy my own. PS: I am obsessed with penguins, as well! I love my coffee mug!

Pinkberry. O M G. D & I are OBSESSED.

Words With Friends (WWF) -- Play me! Regina Rose. I have a love/hate relationship with this game. I get utterly obsessed and stay up all hours of the night to come up with creative ways to use all my letters then get bored and lose all my games due to lack of moves. Playing with N before he gave up was hilarious. He would lose so badly. He played words like "cat", "this", and most recently "puppy" for 17 points and he was talking shit. "BOOM! mother fucker!" he said. Meanwhile I play words illustrated in the picture above and he's still talking shit? SJ, initially playing with you was funny. You would lose but be like, "technically, I am WINNING, because I play really fast." N feels the same way. I don't have the heart to tell him speed in a game akin to Scrabble isn't necessarily the champion way of going at it. He's really good at this motorcycle game called "lanesplitter" (go figure, he is a rider! But SPEED is the winning factor at least!), though! That's also a fun game that he actually beats me in. But WWF? Bless his heart.

Bake Shop Red Velvet = HEAVEN

Instagram App! <3 Love it. Follow me @ reginarosek.

N's parents new puppy. Her name is Keiko -- means happy child in Japanese. She is absolutely the happiest little puppy in the universe. She rules all that encompasses in the T household. And who can say no to her floppy little ears and fat little belly?!

And lastly, I am IN LOVE with Miguel's song -- Sure Thing. For the girls heading up to NYC with me next weekend -- I WILL be playing this song on repeat the entire drive there AND back, so prepare yourselves. I don't want to hear any complaints, as I am forewarning you all well in advance. Yes, Bestie, just like when I was obsessed with Natalie's -- Going Crazy. I have already conferred with DMX and he is OK with this song playing on repeat for 8 hours.